Some Thoughts on Same Sex Marriage There is a culture war going on in America and I there was any doubt before Tuesday, the Massachusetts Supreme Court has eroded that doubt. What is most unfortunate about the issue of whether or same sex marriage should be codified into law is the lack of thoughtful, healthy debate and exchange of ideas on the issue. Those who oppose gay marriage for any reason are automatically labeled by the media left as homophobes, (which is surprising since it is the left which decries labeling people and making generalizations) effectively shutting down any intellectual exchange of ideas and thus, robbing the public of the learning experience that occurs when social issues are openly dissected point for point. Are Gays the new Victim Group as Blacks Use to be? Unlike blacks, homosexuals have never been denied the right to vote. There has never been a law which denied homosexuals the right to sit where they want on a bus, apply for and get a job, live in whatever neighborhood they want, sit at a lunch counter or have their children segregated in school. The notion that gays, by virtue of not being able to marry, is equal to the struggle of blacks is nothing more than political rhetoric aimed at the uneducated and naive. Race, or more specifically skin color, is a fixed and identifiable trait. One cannot choose to be black or white. One cannot decide to be black one day and go back to being white the next. One cannot hide their skin color when boarding a bus. And because of this we have laws to prevent discrimination based on the race, color or ethnicity. To say that homosexuals are the type of protected class as blacks is an insult to the intelligence of every person who has ever read history. Homosexuality, contrary to the myths perpetuated in the media, is not always fixed or god given. Homosexuality is a behavior, not an identity, unless of course a person willingly wears their homosexuality on their sleeve and flaunts it for the world to see. Bu that is his or her choice to make their sexual behavior part of thier identity. BLacks do not hae that choice. But Aren't Homosexuals Born that way?....Not Always! If someone who engages in homosexual behavior they are, in the eyes of our culture, a homosexual. And while some people calim that many homosexuals are born that way, many, in fact are not. Witness the heterosexual Brittany Spears, who tongue kissed Madonna on national television. Why would a woman who is professed heterosexual engage in gay behavior? The simple answer is she was reacting to the culture and morays around her. She Chose to do so. Millions of young men and women experiment with homosexuality and even live a gay lifestyle for years (some because of molestation, rape, sexual identity confusion or a traumatic experience during childhood) before "coming to terms with their sexuality" and returning to (or in some cases turning to a heterosexual lifestyle. This fluid choice of bisexual-homosexual behavior glorified on MTV and in our public schools, means that while some may be born homosexual others can choose the lifestyle and in doing so, if the activists have their way, become a protected class as defined in the constitution. Aren't Homosexuals just people who deserve to be treated with dignity? Let it be said that homosexuals are human beings who deserve the same respect and "constitutional rights" afforded to any other individual in the United States. They are created in God's image as we all are. They deserve to enjoy the same rights of free speech and the right to council that any other American enjoys. They deserve the right to walk the streets without being assaulted. They deserve to be treated with dignity and respect unless, as with anyone else of course, they do something which warrants disrespect or indignity. To argue that gay marriage is a "constitutional right" or even a "CIVIL RIGHT" is not only downright false; it is a dangerous and slippery slope for any society to approach. Answering this myths of same sex marriage arguments Now let me address the arguments proposed by gay marriage proponents: 1) If people love each other the gender of each partner is irrelevant; they should have the right to marry just as heterosexuals have. To this I say, the standard of two people loving each other as the standard to legalize marriage between those people who love each other, logically brings us to the point of legalizing marriage between adult siblings who love each other sexually. 2) Not allowing gay marriage is discriminatory True, it is discriminatory. Just as polygamy being illegal is discriminatory. But all discrimination is not bad or unconstitutional. When the state of Utah petitioned the Untied States for entry into the union they had to codify marriage as between only one man and one woman even though it was the religious belief of many Mormons to marry three or more women. Not only did we discriminate against their "sexual preference" but we also discriminated against their religious beliefs. This was done because marriage was recognized as the union between one mand and one woman, period. To enter the union, Utah had to conform to this and outlaw bigamy and polygamy. But Shouldn't Gays have the right to visit thier Partner in the Hospital? Any person, gay or straight has the right to sign a health care proxy giving their boyfriend, girlfriend or even a platonic roommate the right to visit them in the hospital or make medical decisions in case they are incapacitated. Any person, gay or straight has the right to put their lover or friend's name on their will or mortgage. We do not need same sex marriage for homosexuals in a life long commitment to enjoy any of these legal rights that every American enjoys, married or not. And yes, there are a few benefits to being married that gays will not have. They will not have the right to be taxed at a higher rate, have their credit ruined if their partner goes broke or lose half their belongings if the relationship goes south. What about social implications? How Can Gay Marriage Harm Society? The downside to gay marriage is the erosion of the heterosexual ideal needed for any society to thrive from generation to generation. Just as we have seen an erosion of family values and all the social problems caused by divorce, so too will we see an insurmountable number of social problems if we further erode the heterosexual ideal by allowing same sex marriage (which will eventually led to bigamy, polygamy and adult incest). It is unfortunate that the pros and cons cannot be publicly discussed so that the public can hear and consider both sides of the issue. The Boston press, in fact, the national press has so viscously vilified anyone who publicly objects to same sex marriage that, by intimidation most politicians are petrified to even broach the subject. Just look at the Democrat presidential contenders. While the democrat party receives millions of dollars from the gay lobby, most of them squirm in their seats when asked about gay marriage and slide past the issue as fast as they can. Of course, only after playing both sides of the fence by saying they don't support marriage but "would" support civil unions. What is truly saddest of all is the fact that not all homosexuals themselves agree that same sex marriage should be legal. Who speaks for them? Certainly not the Boston Globe or the gay lobby. Are they homophobes? Hate mongers? I think not. While I, an unmarried heterosexual am called a homophobe and a hate monger for opposing gay marriage, the openly gay supreme court judge who voted against gay marriage this week gets a free pass from vilification in the press and the activist left. It is understandable for anyone who chooses to live a homosexual lifestyle to want to be accepted and tolerated. And I believe that most people are accepting and tolerant. But acceptance and tolerance are much different than approving and codifying. Just as it is unfair of anyone to assault a homosexual for thier chosen (or not chosen) behavior it is equally unfair to villify those who disagree with same sex marriage as hate mongers and homophobes. As long as there is name calling and insulting on both sides of this so called debate, hate is the only product we can end up with. *Tom Duggan is the former political director of Massachusetts Citizens for Marraige |
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