>>Valley Patriot>> |
Remember Chicken Little running around warning humanity that the sky was falling? Yes, I’ll admit it, that was me after the courts handed down their decision allowing gay marriage to take place. I thought that “bad things” would happen. I am not sure what the bad things were, but I was sure that havoc would rain down on society. I thought companies would have difficulty adding all the new gay spouses to medical insurance policies and other benefits that accrue with the benefit of a marriage. I was perfectly OK with allowing gays to have a civil union. Can you just hear the condescending sweetness in my voice? I thought there would be some huge shift in society if gays were allowed to marry. I thought the sky would fall. The day gay marriage finally went into effect, I went to Lowell City Hall to see if there were anxious individuals who were lining up to be some of the first people to get their license. I saw several couples. One couple in particular had been long-term residents of Lowell; they had also been long-term partners. In anticipation of being at city hall early in the morning, to take out their license, they had already planned their wedding. I asked them why they were there so early, why the rush? They told me they were concerned that some unknown law would surface turning back the gay marriage court decision, and they said they wanted to get their license before the governor was able to stop the process. As I spoke to this obviously committed couple, I had to ask myself: What bad thing did I really think could happen? I wasn’t sure. I knew it had nothing to do with the Bible. I am Catholic, but I also realize that the Bible is the most incredible and amazing historical book ever written. It also was compiled by a group of men who wanted things their way. It was written as a moral and legal code, mostly by a group of men who wanted to tell the story through their eyes. So when I look at some bible texts, I understand that childbirth was a mystery, and women were a mystery. That’s why we women got a secondary position. So I knew that it wasn’t the issue of homosexuality itself. Again I had to ask myself, where did my opposition to gay marriage come from? Honestly, I have to admit, I didn’t think it through. I actually thought the sky would fall. But in reality, nothing changed. I invited the two men I met to come on my radio show, R&R in the afternoon, at WCAP 980 on your listening dial. I also invited a woman who is a Justice of the Peace and, oh my goodness, also a lesbian. I wanted the listening audience to hear that these three people could have been your next-door neighbor; in fact, they were someone’s next-door neighbors. As they spoke, I started thinking. What if no one was gay, everyone was straight and all currently gay people married someone of the opposite sex. Would that have made the sky fall? The answer, simply, was no it wouldn’t. So I had to ask, why shouldn’t gay people have the same benefits conveyed through marriage that straight couples have? My answer was that they should. Gay couples should have the same rights to convey property, be emergency contacts, and have access to insurance benefits that straight couples have. It doesn’t belittle marriage at all. It recognizes that marriage is such a vital and important component of fostering a civilized society that more people should be invited into the committed lifestyle. After all, don’t you prefer marriage to the living-in-sin concept? I do. But, hey, I still prefer that couples, straight or gay, be married before the baby arrives. I am kind of old-fashioned that way. So you’re probably asking yourself, if I am so old-fashioned, why is being gay or lesbian OK? Because, for most people, it’s not a choice. I knew I liked boys when I was 12 years old. Do you really think that’s any different for kids who are gay? No it isn’t. I know the religious right will disagree with me, but that’s OK. OK until one of your kids has to tell you the truth about his or her sexuality. Hey, the Disney Corporation has been offering benefits to same sex couples for a few years now. How about that, the bastion of purity accepts gay relationships. Wow. Are they going to H E double hockey sticks? No, they realize that we live in a big world, a big world where some people are gay. As a big business, isn’t it smart that they have figured out a way to attract more people. We are not all going to agree on this issue. The bottom line is this: some people want to be the morality police. You’re fired, you turn in your decoder ring and you go back to minding your own business. I don’t tell you how to live your life even though I may disagree with it, so stay out of mine. I am not married. I figure Lincoln freed the slaves and that included the shackles of marriage. If gay people want to join the club and be as miserable as some of you are, why not let them. Regina Faticante is a member of the Lowel School Committee and is the host of Afternoon Live on WCAP, 3-6pm weekdays on 980AM *Send your questions
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The sky is falling, the sky is
falling, ooh noooooooooooooo.